Letters
by NaruBaby2496
Summary: So one day Tsunade was bored and she chose to get all the Rookie 9 girls to write a no limits no crap and true letter to their boyfriends. Who knew it would end with four broken arms? Well she knew that but four marriages and plenty of babies….ss,nh,si,nt
1. Chapter 1

Letters

**NaruBaby2496**

**Summary: So, one day Tsunade was bored. She was so bored. She decided to get each of the Rookie 9 Girls to write a no restraints, no crap, and one hundred percent true letter to their boyfriends, or, wannabe boyfriends. Who knew it would end with four broken arms? Well, she knew that, but, four marriages and plenty of babies…that wasn't accounted for. **

**SXS NXH SXI NXT**

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Sakura stared blankly at Tsunade, arms folded across her chest impatiently.

She smiled.

Ino grimaced at the Hokage and twirled her hair in her fingers.

She still smiled.

Hinata looked around the room for the clock—how long was this going to take?

She still smiled, and now it was getting creepy.

TenTen gripped her favorite kunai tightly and ordered, "Tell us why we're here!"

Tsunade laughed at her reaction, and had Shizune (who still had no idea what was going on) give each girl a single piece of paper and a pen. Sakura's was pink, Ino's blue, Hinata's purple, and TenTen's maroon. They eyed their materials cautiously and Sakura questioned, "What type of mission is this? It looks like we're writing letters…." She was starting to become afraid of her teacher, but soon concluded she had too much sake last night. That would explain all the various clear green bottles under her desk.

The Hokage giggled, "That's because you are!"

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

"Are you okay, sensei?"

The asked blonde woman rose unsteadily, because she had been drinking too much lately, but that was just because she was under so much stress with Sasuke back and all. That kid just screamed 'I WILL STRESS YOU OUT BECAUSE I'M A BASTURD!' She started her explanation with a slurred tongue, swinging her half-empty last bottle of sake, "I want you to write letters to your boyfriends," she glanced at the now glaring Sakura, "and wannabe boyfriends, stating everything you've ever held back in your life. I'm giving you the liberty to hurt their feelings, to crush their feelings, and to make them think twice about all of their mistakes."

Hinata, who was intrigued by the thought, but still a little confused, asked, "What rank is this 'mission', Tsunade-sama?" She put emphasis on the word mission, because, really, it didn't seem like one. The woman forced her green glass on the desk, breaking it immediately, she glared, "Are you demeaning my Hokage-ness?!"

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

"N-No, Tsunade-sama, I'm not. I-I-I was j-just wondering."

"Okay, then I will tell you that…it is S-Class!"

TenTen scoffed, leaving immediately after that announcement with her pen and pencil, finding this the most ridiculous mission ever invented. However, it did seem…fun. Yeah, it would be fun to degrade Neji for a mission, that she would get paid for, that she had a reason for doing, and he had no way of stopping her. This would be fun.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata left with a respectful bow, feeling the same way, because when is it not fun to—

"Hey, Shizune-chan, can you go get me some more sake for later?"

Shizune shook her head, grabbing hold of her pet pig as she tried to escape through the door, "Um, no, Hokage-sama. You'll kill your kidneys."

"No, I will not. They're already gone, silly!" And she was supposed to be a medical miracle….

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**LOL, total crack-fic, I swear. **

**Depending on how many reviews I'll get, I might continue. **

**Let's see….twenty reviews?**

**I ask that much because I have another story going on, (ID: 5571557)**

**called One Year and I'm trying to get that one done to, but if this goes good, I'll work on both. **

**Anyway, Mr. Review wants at least 20 people to push his buttons. (wink wink)**


	2. Chapter 2

Letters

**NaruBaby2496**

**A/N: **I didn't get my 20 reviews…but since I love you guys, I'll pretend there's an 0 behind the 2. : D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. If I did, it would be much more romantic.

**Summary: **So, one day Tsunade was bored. She was so bored. She decided to get each of the Rookie 9 Girls to write a no restraints, no crap, and one hundred percent true letter to their boyfriends, or, wannabe boyfriends. Who knew it would end with four broken arms? Well, she knew that, but, four marriages and plenty of babies…that wasn't accounted for.

SXS NXH SXI NXT

* * *

"Who knew this would be so hard?" Ino whined to all her girlfriends, who where all over at her family's flower shop, working on the seemingly easy mission. They locked the doors, saying they were closed from all male customers—earning a questioning look from her Dad—and from everybody until one.

Miraculously, only Lee tried to get in—but he failed once TenTen's hidden bomb when off. Yeah, Lee is feeling sorry.

Hinata agreed, nodding her head, "Yeah, it really is hard. Naruto is so perfect." The other girls stared blankly at the porcelain doll, and scoffed together, "And the sky is filled with butterflies, and dragons spit rainbows."

Sakura smiled, "It's easy for me. See look—" She showed Hinata her first paragraphs so she had an idea what to do.

_You are a bastard. How dare you leave me on a bench!! Okay, a bench—seriously? FUCKING SERIOUSLY!!?! _

_It was cold and hard and rock and someone could've come and RAPED me. As in stuck there penis in my vagina and raped me! Do you understand that?! The least you could've done was bring me home and put in me in my nice warm bed, tuck me in, and kiss me goodnight. NOT KNOCK ME OUT THEN PUT ME ON A BENCH AND LEAVE!_

_What the fucking hell?! I am going to kill you!_

The nice girl twitched after reading all of the threats and swear words in the short passage, and stuttered, "I-I don't think I can do that to Naruto-kun. P-P-Plus I thought you wanted Sasuke-san to be your boyfriend. R-R-Right n-now, if I-I were him, I would get a restraining order."

TenTen laughed at Sakura's expression, something mixed between embarrassment, anger, and constipation, and warned, "She's not even done yet, Hinata. And it's a mission—we have to hurt their feelings. In order to break an Uchiha you have to be—"She read over a sentence again, "—Did you say penis and vagina?! You don't do that!"

Ino giggled, "Sai-san does."

A loud eruption of laughter arrived, and Sakura's eyebrows twitched in anger, "We are not talking about Sai! If we are trying to get a reaction from the Sasuke Uchiha, it is necessary to be as blunt and vulgar as possible—I've done it before. I know what to do, and this will definitely work, believe me."

Hinata scratched her silky head, laughing lightly, "If you want a restraining order."

BOOM!!

"OKAY, WHAT BOY TRIED TO GET IN THIS TIME?!"

And there he was, Sasuke Uchiha himself, running away with his duck-ass head on fire, just like Michael Jackson and his Pepsi commercial. Ino giggled, pointing and laughing at the running boy, "Somebody's having charred duck for dinner!"

TenTen shook her Minnie Mouse head from left to right, "No. That is not funny."

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**LOL, these are so short and funny. Wow, okay you guys, I am **

**so serious this time. I need reviews!! **

**NEED! (LOL)**

**~NaruBaby2496**


	3. Chapter 3

Letters

**NaruBaby2496**

**A/N: **Whoa, ten reviews for one chapter! That's, like, a record for me, I think…let me check…nope the highest is…12! 12 reviews for Application to Date My Daughter, Chapter 5. Check if you don't believe me. LOL

**Summary: **So, one day Tsunade was bored. She was so bored. She decided to get each of the Rookie 9 Girls to write a no restraints, no crap, and one hundred percent true letter to their boyfriends, or, wannabe boyfriends. Who knew it would end with four broken arms? Well, she knew that, but, four marriages and plenty of babies…that wasn't accounted for.

SXS NXH SXI NXT

* * *

After getting over the pain Sakura had caused to her head, TenTen got down to business with her pen. Okay….that sounds really gross and sexual, but I swear she was writing her letter, along with all the other girls, though Ino was outside putting up a big sign that read 'STAY AWAY BOYS—love Ino-chan'.

Wasn't it ironic how she said love when if they disobeyed her they would end up in the hospital? Ah, that's love right there, folks.

TenTen shoved the paper in Hinata's direction, "Did I spell everything right?" Hinata was the smartest in the group, and therefore now dreaded the idea of doing this mission, just because it would probably end with many sorry people. She scanned over the page, fearful for her cousin after the first few words, and shook, "Um, I-I think you spelled a-annihilate, exterminate, and eradicate w-wrong."

She smiled, taking the paper back and grabbing the whiteout, "Thanks." When she finished her corrections, she scribbled down, filling the other three pages without a single problem. Hinata glanced around to check how everyone else was doing compared to her own two words, and saw that Sakura was on her sixteenth page and Ino on her fifth.

Starting to feel bad for her lack in ability of hurting Naruto, she sighed, but not before TenTen shoved the leaf in her face again, "Did I spell the rest right?" Going through the paper as if it was routine, the girl sighed, "You spelled slaughter, bloodthirsty, assassination, electrocute and lacerate wrong." And, just like last time, the buns nodded with a smile, grabbed the whiteout, and went back to work.

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When the silence of nothing but scribbling pens got to Hinata, she asked cautiously, "Why are you so violent, TenTen, especially towards Neji-nii-san?"

The asked, who forgot that Hinata was related to Neji, felt bad immediately, but shrugged, "I'm trying to scare him, but still be myself by using delicate and intricate reasoning in my sentences."

Sakura giggled quietly, "I bet you can't even spell those words, Minnie Mouse."

TenTen hopped up from her seat, about to crush the rosette into pieces with her various weapons, but Ino and Hinata held her back, pushing her down into the chair by the shoulders. That didn't stop the glaring between the two, though, and Hinata rushed quickly, trying to ease the tension, "I like pie."

The plan working, TenTen scoffed toward her friend, "Oh, shut up, Hinata. Nobody cares about you liking pie, okay?" Usually unoffended by such comments, Ino was shocked when Hinata growled, "I bet you can't even spell pie, dumbass."

Yeah, it was pretty strange, witnessing Hinata curse, growl, and attack in the same minute. Who knew this mission could drive everyone insane?

* * *

**I made TenTen an idiot! **

**By the way, I used some pretty big words in this chapter, but this is what they mean. **

**Eradicate—in the easy word "remove"**

**Lacerate—in the easy word "rip"**

**Alright, anymore questions or comments and I'll be happy to answer. **

**Review! **

**~NaruBaby2496**


	4. Chapter 4

Letters

**A/N: **I got to 20! Lol, that's cool. Thanks, you people.

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Chapter 4

* * *

Sakura ran up to Sasuke (who was just released from the hospital), and shoved a bright pink piece of paper in his face. He grunted and shoved it back in her face. "I don't read."

She groaned, "That would explain why you're an impotent duck-assed idiot."

He growled, glaring at her as he snatched the paper out of her open hands. She stayed directly over his shoulder, watching for even the slightest hint of emotion as he read the words.

Even when he made it to 'that' paragraph with 'those' words, he didn't flinch. What was his problem? Neji ran away from TenTen screaming bloody murder when he read her letter. So, why, wasn't Sasuke doing anything?

That pole in his ass must be pushed really far up.

Sakura rolled her eyes when he stared motionless as he made it to the final paragraph, and ripped up the paper, "That was pointless."

She gasped, "But I said I would freak kill you if you--!"

"I already knew that."

"But I said—"

"Yeah. That was disgusting."

"But I—"

"I know what you did."

"But—"

"But nothing. What were you attempting to get out of me?"

Sakura growled and punched him in the perfect face, "I was expecting love and sex!" She then ran away, tears pouring out of her eyes like a waterfall.

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Who would dare give love to an animalistic beast that threatened to knock you out every time you didn't do what she wanted? That was all that was running through Sasuke's head as he got up and rubbed the bruise that was now there.

That woman was a beast. "Sasuke! Come here and give me love!!"

He flinched at the demonized order and started running to nowhere in particular—just away from the angry Sakura. Damn, Naruto did not lie. She was scary when she was pissed off.

Note to Self: Give Sakura love when she wants it.

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**GAH! It's so short. I'm mad at myself. **

**Sorry, my brain like, died.**

**Review! **

**~NaruBaby2496**


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